Why Women Cry??
A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?"
"Because I'm a woman," she told him.
I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him
and said, "And you never will."
Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does
mother seem to cry for no reason?"
All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could
say. The little boy grew up and became a man, still
wondering why women cry.
Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the
phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"
God said: "When I made the woman she had to be
special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry
the weight of the world, yet Gentle enough to give
comfort.
I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and
the rejection that many times comes from her children.
I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going
when everyone else gives up, and take care of her
family through sickness and fatigue without
complaining.
I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under
any and all circumstances, even when her child has
hurt her very badly.
I gave her strength to carry her husband through his
faults and fashioned, her from his rib to protect his
heart.
I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never
hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and
her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.
And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers
exclusively to use whenever it is needed."
"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is
not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she
carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes,
because that is the doorway to her heart - the place
where love resides.
____________________________________________________
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Men Are More Better Friends !
Women:
A wife was not at home for a whole night. So, the very next morning, she tells her husband that she stayed at her girlfriend's apartment over night. The husband calls up 10 of her best girlfriends, and none of them confirms that.
Men:
A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the very next morning, that he stayed at his friend's apartment over night. So the wife calls up 10 of his best friends: 5 of them confirm that he stayed at their apartments that night, and the other 5 are claiming that he still is there with them!
Conclusion:
Men are better friends and are more honest!!!!!!
Iranians Are More Intelligent!!
Three American and three Iranian engineers are traveling by train to
a conference. At the station, the three American each buy tickets
and watch as the three Iranians buy only a single ticket.
>>
>>"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?", asked
one of the three American.
>>
>>"Watch and you will see", answers one of the Iranaians .
>>
>>They all board the train. The Americans take their respective
seats, but all three Iranians cram into the toilet and close the door
behind them.
>>
>>Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around
collecting tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says,
"Ticket,please". The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a
ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The American saw
this and agreed it was quite a clever idea.
>>
>>So after the conference, the American decide to copy the Iranians
on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the
station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their
astonishment, the Iranians don't buy a ticket at all.
>>
>>"How are you going to travel without a ticket?", asks one
perplexed American.
>>
>>"Watch and you will see", says one of the Iranians .
>>
>>When they board the train the three Americans cram into a toilet
and the three Iranians cram into another one nearby. The train
departs.
>>
>>Shortly afterward, one of the Iranians leaves his toilet and walks
over to the toilet where the Ameican are hiding. He knocks on the
door and says,"Ticket, please."
WORLD'S EASIEST QUIZ
(Passing requires 4 correct answers)
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) From which animal do we get cat gut?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8) What color is a purple finch?
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?
All done? Check your answers!
.
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? *116 years
2) Which country makes Panama hats? *Ecuador
3) From which animal do we get cat gut? *Sheep and Horses
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? *November
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? *Squirrel fur
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? *Dogs
7) What was King George VI's first name? *Albert
8) What color is a purple finch? *Crimson
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? *New Zealand
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane? *Orange, of course.
What do you mean you failed?
دلايل
18 دليل محكم براي اينكه به مرد بودن خود افتخار كنيد:
1- هميشه از نام خانوادگي شما استفاده ميشود.
2- مدت زمان مكالمه ي تلفني شما حداکثر سي ثانيه است .
3- براي يك مسافرت يك هفته اي تنها يك ساك كوچك دستي نياز داريد.
4- در تمام شيشه هاي مربا و ترشي را خودتان باز ميكنيد.
5- دوستان شما توجهي به كاهش يا افزايش وزن شما ندارند.
6- جنسيت شما در موقع مصاحبهي استخدام مطرح نيست.
7- لازم نيست كيفي پر از لوازم بي استفاده را همه جا به دنبالتان بكشيد.
8- ظرف مدت 10دقيقه ميتوانيد حمام كنيد و براي رفتن به مهماني آماده شويد.
9- همكارانتان نميتوانند اشك شما را در بياورند.
10- اگر در 34 سالگي هنوز مجرديد، احدي به شما ايراد نميگيرد.
11- رنگ اجزاء صورت شما در هر صورت طبيعي است.
12- با يك دسته گل ميتوانيد بسياري از مشكلات احتمالي را حل كنيد.
13- وقتي مهمان به خانهي شما ميآيد لازم نيست اتاق را مرتب كنيد.
14- بدون هديه ميتوانيد به ديدن تمام اقوام و دوستانتان برويد.
15- ميتوانيد آرزوي هر پست و مقامي را داشته باشيد.
16- حداقل بيست راه براي بازكردن در هر بطري نوشابهي داخلي يا خارجي بلد هستيد.
17- ضرورتي ندارد روز تولد دوستانتان را به خاطر داشته باشيد.
18- ... و بالاخره روزي يك پيرمرد موفق خواهيد شد.
و حالا 28 دليل بسيار محكم براي اينكه به زن بودن خود افتخار كنيد:
1- نام هر گل و زيبايي در طبيعت است را روي شما ميگذارند.
2- هنگامي كه رنگ پريده يا بيمار هستيد با كمي وسايل آرايش ميتوانيد خود را زيباتر كنيد و هيچ كس هم از شما ايرادنميگيرد( كاري كه بسياري از آقايان مد روز يواشكي انجام ميدهند).
3- تمام شاعران ايران زمين در وصف گل روي شما هزاران شعر گفته و خط و خال و چشم و ابروي شما را ستوده اند.
4- مجبور نيستيد سر كار برويد و پول يك ماه كار و تلاشتان را برنج و گوشت و نخود و لوبيا بخريد.
5- به راحتي و با اعتماد به نفس هر وقت كه لازم بود گريه مي كنيد و غم و غصه هايتان را در دل جمع نمي كنيد تا سكته كنيد.
6- عمرتان بسيار طولاني است.
7- آنقدر حرف براي گفتن داريد كه هرگز كم نميآوريد.
8- هميشه يك عالمه دوست و رفيق ناب داريد و كمتر گرفتار رفيق ناباب مي شويد.
9- هرگز در حمام خود را گربه شور نمي كنيد.
10- بزرگ شده ايد و كمتر براي طرفداري از تيم قرمز و آبي يا اين حزب و آن حزب جلز و ولز كرده و كركري مي خوانيد.
11- ريش و سبيل نداريد كه موقع آب خوردن قبل از خودتان سبيلتان آب بنوشد.
12- عشق و هنر ابداع شماست.
13- هميشه جوان تر از سنتان هستيد و هيچ كس نمي داند شما چند ساله ايد.
14- از سن 9سالگي به بلوغ عقلي و جسمي ميرسيد و حالاحالاها بايد بدوند تا به پاي شما برسند!.
15- بهشت زير پاي شماست.
16- اگر موهايتان مرتب نبود يا وقت براي مرتب كردنشان نداشتيد، با سركردن يك روسري قضيه حل است.
17- هميشه در كيفتان آينه داريد و موقعي كه در سلف سرويس دانشگاه قورمه سبزي ميخوريد يك دانه لوبيا لابه لاي سبيلتان جا خوش نمي كند.
18- هميشه تميز و نظيف و خوشبو هستيد.
19- به وزنتان اهميت مي دهيد و شكمتان جلوتر از خودتان وارد اتاق نمي شود.
20- هميشه مقداري پول براي روز مبادا داريد كه جز خودتان هيچ كس از جاي آن خبر ندارد.
21- مجبور نيستيد از اين خانه به آن خانه برويد و خواستگاري كنيد، مثل خانمها در خانه مينشينيد تا ديگران با كلي منت و خواهش و التماس و گل و هديه!!! از شما اجازه ي حضور بگيرند.
22- ميتوانيد موهايتان را بلند يا كوتاه كنيد و هر نوع لباسي كه دوست داشتيد بپوشيد از شلوار تا دامن... و هر نوع كفشي را بپسنديد به پا كنيد از اسپرت تا پاشنه سه سانتي و بالاتر.
23- مجبور نيستيد بارهاي سنگين را جا به جا كنيد يا تن به مشاغل سخت و پايين بدهيد چراكه شما يك خانم هستيد!.
24- حق تقدم با شماست.
25- مرد از دامن شما به معراج مي رود.
26- هرگز از فرط خشم نعره نميكشيد و از فرط حسادت خون راه نمي اندازيد.
27- نيم بيشتر صندلي هاي دانشگاه ها را شما تصاحب كرده ايد.
28- ضعيف كش نيستيد و دق و دلي رئيس اداره تان را در خانه خالي نمي كنيد.
... و اگر خوب فكر كنيد مي بينيد كه صدها دليل محكم ديگر وجود دارد كه شما به زن بودن خود افتخار كنيد.
Never say�..
Never say I love you
If you don't really care
Never talk of feelings
If they aren't really there
Never hold my hand
If you mean to break my heart
Never say forever
If you ever plan to part
Never look into my eyes
If you are telling me a lie
Never say hello
If you think you'll say goodbye
Never say that I'm THE one
If you dream of more than me
Never lock up my heart
If you don't have the key
The Most Important Part of Body
WHAT'S YOUR OPINION!!!!
My mother used to ask me what is the most important part of the body. Through the years I would take a guess at what I thought was the correct answer.
When I was younger, I thought sound was very important to us as humans, so I said, "My ears, Mommy." She said, 'No. Many people are deaf. But you keep thinking about it and I will ask you again soon.'
Several years passed before she asked me again. Since making my first attempt, I had contemplated the correct answer. So this time I told her, 'Mommy, sight is very important to everybody, so it must be our eyes.'
She looked at me and told me, 'You are learning fast, but the answer is not correct because there are many people who are blind.'
Stumped again, I continued my quest for knowledge and over the years, Mother asked me a couple more times and always her answer was 'No, but you are getting smarter every year, my child.'
Then last year, my Grandpa died. Everybody was hurt. Everybody was crying. Even my father cried. My Mom looked at me when it was our turn to say our final good-bye to Grandpa. She asked me, 'Do you know the most important body part yet, my dear?'
I was shocked when she asked me this now. I always thought this was a game between her and me. She saw the confusion on my face and told me. 'This question is very important. It shows that you have really lived your life.
.For every body part you gave me in the past, I have told you was wrong and I have given you an example why. But today is the day you need to learn this important lesson.
She looked down at me as only a mother can. I saw her eyes well up with tears. She said, 'My dear, the most important body part is your shoulder'
I asked, 'Is it because it holds up your head?' She replied, 'No, it is because it can hold the head of a friend or loved one when they cry.
Everybody, need a shoulder to cry on sometime in life, my dear. I only hope that you have enough love and friends that you will have a shoulder to cry on when you need it.'
Then and there I knew the most important body part is not a selfish one. It is sympathetic to the pain of others.
~Author Unknown~Submitted by: Harry Updegraff, Jr.
